Fourgive me deer merry

In this later, the guild president of Kiwaani university - a suspect institution in a dickensian Kampala slum - replies his erstwile girlfriend Mary, who had jilted him. He pleads with her, and promises to be a better man. Here goes, leidies and genomen:

KIWAANI UNIVERCITY
KIMOMBASA
UGANDA

My deer Merry, I rissived your later in which you spoke that we should divide. I was so saprised. Everyday every day, I was thinking that you had given me your hat in fool. I new that we were going to marry itch other. I thinked that I was going to put a wring on your middle thumb. But for you, you dissided to divorce your boyfriend out of the blew. You did not even here my said of the story. Listen to it now, I no you will exchange your mind.


Time:

You know that I am the carrent gilled president of Kiwaani Univercity. It means that I am a bizy man. That is the reason why sumtimes I find it had to sea you. Even telephoning your phone is hard, since we are in meatings, disscursing impotant matyrs all the time. But for you, you think that I be there chiting on you. For us liders, we do not do those bad mannas. Also, for me I am bone again, and can not trit you like that, becose I love you so march. Please bare with me sweat hat. Very soon we shall bee leaving very harpily without those disstabenses. I am not lying you, I swea.


Out:

You seid that I don’t take you out into modarn places . I promiss to take you to the whole places you want. You will eat and drink all the food you want and I will pay. I will not do like some mane who feil to pay and they are talled to warsh prates.You will eat cheaps, sourcage and leaver at any racetorant you want. Then we will go to the bar cold Fart Boy’s or even Stick Out and you drink any bottles you want. Even if you want to dans disco, we will go to Anjenwa, and dans antil the sooles of our shoes remove. When you become tyred, we shall rent a spesho to take ass away. Please calm bark to me, I will not missbihave badly again. Even the baible says that we fourgive itch other. Please ripit after it also.


Wading:

You also quarroed in your later that I do not want to wade you. But you just put both your two eyes like this. I will fast calm to your home and we do the introduckshone. It will even be talked about in the newspeppers like the one of Jose Kamiryon. Even if your parents ask for how many miryons, I will give them, plas even many other prizes.
The wading seremone will we very well agonized, so that there will not be those annoying things of badily agonized wadings. Our gests will be sarved in time, and we shall have little talkers, so that they don’t boar our people.We shall make sure we sheikh all their hands to congrajulate them for being attentive at our wading. From then, we shall be together, until death do us a party.

Kizito Joseph
Gilled president
Kiwaani Univercity